Monday, November 30, 2015

The End of NoBloPoMo, the Beginning of Success

This is the part where I want to slip back into being fearful; fearful I will "peter out", quit and ultimately, fail at the goal I set. (I wonder who exactly was responsible for the term, "peter out", and if other Peters after him felt like he gave them the bum deal.)

This goal, if you've followed along, was to participate in NaBloPoMo which to me meant I would be posting daily since that was the challenge.

I've missed some days. Part of me wants to mistreat myself, talk down to myself and tell myself what a loser I am; the old part of me. The healthier part of me (who is winning a little more each day) encourages me. The one or two days I forgot shouldn't be a big deal.  There were days I felt like I had nothing more to offer than what would fit in a facebook post or tweet.  On those days, I chose not to make a separate blog post since I only have 2 followers on my blog and use my facebook to promote what I write anyhow. The bigger accomplishment though, was staying on track and even ahead of things for Thanksgiving and Christmas prep. That was a bigger goal and I've done the best at that this year than years before. I also (mostly) kept up with my normal to-do's of running a household.

I've known my perspective on quitting and failing has needed an overhaul. It's one I've been slowly making, and that...that is a success.

What is a definition of something you need to reframe in your mind, or that you have already?

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Needing the Sound of Silence

Hello migraine, my old “friend”
I’ve come to battle you again
Because my vision’s slowly decreasing
You did your deed while I was sleeping
And the stabbing that you planted in my brain
Still remains
I need the sound of silence

In restless states I start to moan
Plans of the day are all now blown
‘Neath the covers without a lamp
Pulled blankie up away from the damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
I felt the bite
I need the sound of silence

And in the dim, low light I saw
An hour pass by, maybe more
People talking, why are they speaking
People should be just whispering
People singing songs they just should not share
At least not here
Disturbed the sound of silence

“Ahhhh” said I, you do not know
Your noise totally blows
Read my lips that I might teach you
Feel my fist that I might reach you
But my fist didn’t help the noise to quell
I begged
Just give me some silence

And the people’s voices raised
In my brain I was crazed
And my fingers flashed out the warning
Of the words my brain was forming
And my mouth said
The words of this woman will bite you to the core
And maybe more
Now whisper’n make the sound of silence

Saturday, November 21, 2015



My oldest son started watching Friends on Netflix, and so I've been rewatching it with him. I've caught reruns on tv, but it's been fun for me to watch it with him chronologically.  There are more things from the show than I realized, that have become engrained in my life:

interestingly enough, my teens made up their own, which appropriate or not, I thought was hysterical.

this one we use quite often and it leaves me in tears every time. 

I know it's just TV, but you know what? I like TV.  I love when clever writers, directors, editors, actors, etc. all come together and make something that invokes strong emotions.

If I had to pick back in the 90's, I would have wanted to be Rachel for sure.  After watching it again from the beginning, I think Phoebe totally has the funniest lines. 

What's your favorite FRIENDS memory?

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Just the 5&5

Nothing fancy today. I'm barely holding it together. The Costco trip today? Fuggedaboutit. 
I need to set a reminder in my iPhone to "Take Xanax" when I arrive at Costco. (I will program each nearby location, even though I'm at the same one 90% of the time.)


1. Going to Costco

2. People turning samples at Costco into block-the-aisles-and-park-lunchtime.

3. Costco changing/discontinuing tried & true items.

4. Rude "customer service" clerks at Costco who act like they are doing you some HUGE favor by accepting your return.

5. Drivers in the Costco parking lot who stalk you for a parking place...even though there are more available a mere 5 slots away.


1. I was able to stave off an anxiety attack at Costco. miraculous.

2. Trader Joes

3. Wood stoves

4. Nala. She snuggled up on me and promptly fell asleep on my stomach.  Just what I needed. 

5. Home delivery (& Curbside): Amazon, grocery stores...wherever.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


I'm again thankful for the exercise of writing that has come with NaBloPoMo. (It has even improved my spelling since, when I misspelled "exercize" and clicked to correct it, the suggested correction was "excrete".) 

There have been days where I pushed myself to write. There have also been days where (surprisingly) I son't have much to say. Or, I have something to say, but I just don't fell like saying it right now. 

Today is one of those days. I don't want to post junk, just for the sake of posting. So, I leave you with that. Hopefully my other posts have more quality in them, that will forgive the lack of quantity.