Joyful Mayhem

Laments: 1.  My son is home sick.   2. Some days I feel like I'm overwhelmed & drowning. Chores, paperwork, finances, and an endless to do list. Today  This week is one of those.  3. I haven't exercised in 2 weeks and feel like a slug. 4. I kill plants. (yet I still try) 5. Parents that hold up the drop off line while waiting to make an illegal left across traffic. Gratitudes: 1.  The Giants WON!! Oh my what fun I've had watching this series, and especially last night's nail biter of a game.  2. Even though my son has a slight fever and is sick enough not  to go to school, he's not too sick that we can't enjoy hanging out together.  3. Dwight K. Schrute 4. Our pup pup. She will be on many gratitude lists.  I know having her has helped with my depression over the past few years.  5. Our family had a ton of fun celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday this week. 

I think I like baseball. There. I said it. I'm not hiding it anymore.  Most people know I am not in the sports fan club.  There is however, more to my apathy for sports than just general loathing, and it doesn't diminish my genuine happiness for my friends who are fans. I always joke (the kind of joke thats true) that I love sports movies, but can’t stand the real thing. I watched the viral clip when Ishikawa hit the walk off home-run (and I learned a new term in the process) to clinch the pennant for the Giants.  I’ve seen videos of Steve Perry leading the crowd in singing “Don’t Stop Believing”. This immediately released a wave of emotions both at watching the reaction of fans and the nostalgia it invoked in me. I spent last Thursday visiting with a friend in San Francisco. I was on muni at 4pm on my way back to CalTrain. The closer I got, the more I was surrounded by orange & black (and this brave man).   I was excited for the

photo: Scott Ehardt via Wikimedia Commons I say to my family, "I know stuff", because I do...granted it's usually how to fix techy things, cooking related or  random facts of pop culture (thanks Cliff Claven).  They often still don't want to listen, but I'm quick to say, "see, I know stuff" when the answer they get is what I said in the first place.  It seems to have a little less "know-it-allness" than an "I told you so" (or so I tell myself). I used to pretend to know stuff. When people talked about subjects I didn't understand, or used words I didn't know, I'd just go along.  I wouldn't try to contribute ( I'm not a dummy! ), but I'd listen, smile, etc.  I wasn't trying to be superior, but I didn't want to appear stupid.  I never liked school.  I was actually pretty good at it, but when it was time for college, I went one year, only because I was told I had to. I took a semester off and then

I recently had a great opportunity to visit a friend from high school, who now lives in Florida. There were 5 of us all together, and all friends from high school. A few of them even go back to elementary school or earlier! This was a list I made after traveling. Lament 1. Time together with long time friends ending 2. Airplane seats 3. Middle airplane seats 4. Mosquitoes (though thankfully, it's a "thing" in Florida to have screened in      pool areas/patio/decks.  We hung out and it's just the one errant bugger that           somehow got in and of course, found me.  5. People leaving one of something so they don't have to replace/refill it and then     you are the "lucky one" who gets 3 things in a row to refill/replace.      (this was not a vacation lament) Gratitude  1. Coming home to family (and a tidy house!!!) 2. Good coffee 3. Getting to fly across the country to see friends 4. Flip flop tan lines 5. Pets

Laments: 1. Fake tan lotion smells gross. 2. Laundry never ends. 3. Cutting coupons. MISERY 4. Safeway 5. I always get a little manic when I'm going somewhere, and feel like I need to get everything ready at home..you know, in case I DIE. (www.sayitforwardcampaign.org) Gratitudes: 1. Fresh hair color. 2. My mini vaca is here!! 3. Netflix. 4. Good comedy; for example, The Office, early Adam Sandler,       Jimmy Fallon, Jen Lancaster 5. Costco wasn't awful.  How is your week? Any gripes? Good things are good too. :)

img source: Creative Commons 
 I shared my diagnosis last month, but it was a long road for me to get there. I was able to talk somewhat openly about depression for a while, but to be honest enough to share the full picture?  That was a scary choice.   
 Monday marked the beginning of a week long social media campaign, #sayitforward by the International Bipolar Foundation .   "When it comes to mental health conditions, silence is not golden. Silence  breeds stigma, and stigma prevents people from seeking life-saving treatment and support." 
 I see now how the more we share with others, the less alone we are and in turn, we give others strength to open up and even search for treatment. Silence, or selective silence feels safe. We don't open ourselves up to those that don't or won't understand, but the flip side is isolation.  
 After so many encouraging comments last month, I decided to share my story in hopes that it will help someone

I often feel a twinge of guilt when writing my 5&5. "You have so much to be thankful for!" are the words I hear over & over or, "First world problems"...While this is true, the reality is there are also cruddy things that happen. Often, in order to truly be thankful, you need to first acknowledge the crud. And while my problems are not the same as someone in another country, or perhaps, even in another zip code, they are still the issues I'm dealing with, and therefore have merit.  Laments: 1. My middle schooler's moods. I get it, adolescence is tough. But it's tough for the parents too. I love my kids and it's hard to have them pull away, even though I know it's good. 2. The 10# I lost, I've put back on. Again. 3. Being a parent who tries to stay engaged as a parent. It's oh, so worth it, but oh, so hard. 4. I have to go to Costco in the next day or two... 5. It's dang hot! (and while this isn't weather r

Before we bought our house, it had been a rental for many years. Consequently, the carpet throughout the house was what I called “typical renter brown” (also, it was the 90’s). We’ve slowly been able to rip it up room by room, but I’ll tell ya, what was/is under there will cause a range of emotions, none of which are positive. We have only the boys’ room left to pull out. I’ve been ready to rip it up and live with the wacky patchwork of linoleum and sub-flooring until we can properly floor it. I’m alone in this readiness. I’m actually ready to do the same in the living room and our bedroom, but again...alone. I’d rather an ugly floor I can completely vacuum, rather than the allergy/dust mite/fur/etc. magnet that it is now. Plus, we can buy an area rug to cover most of it. But that’s just me, and also, that’s not happening. So my husband asked for me to call to have the carpets cleaned (“cleaned”). I found a deal for steam cleaning and called. The man on the phone was sweet