Monday, June 20, 2011

5 & 5 is back

I've made notes to myself over & over about how I need/want to get back to the 5&5 that I originally wrote when I started blogging. I love writing, and want to blog regularly - but it seems at the end of the day I am just so depleted of energy, that it gets pushed off with the other things I am procrastinating. So for now, I think I'll try to concentrate on the 5&5, and if and when I am so moved to write more, I will :)

Laments:
1. I am so worn out, fed up and overwhelmed with the impact that having Bipolar Disorder has on me & my family (because yes, they carry the burden too)

2. I've gained at least 15# back of the 55# I've lost. (ok "lost" is such a lame term. I didn't lost it, with great effort, I pushed that shit off my body) I am also overwhelmed with the constant, daily, minute-by-minute struggle/battle/obsession with weight & food.

3. The hubby & I have plans to get away this weekend. This isn't so much of a romantic getaway, but it's meant for planning/strategizing/budgeting for the next year. We just found out that there's a memorial planned for that day. This is for a man who was the patriarch of a family that my family has been friends with for many years, and was the father of hubby's boss of 15 years before he started is own business. It's one of those complicated, intricate family/business relationships that you just really "should" go to.

4. I miss my kids. This summer is weird. Daughter & Son1 are at an all day theatre conservatory that lasts until mid-July. And Son3was fortunate enough to be invited to participate in a camp that a FUN & wonderful friend of ours is running. She had an extra spot and invited him to come play all day. So it's me & Son2 together which is fine...it's just weird. I miss the days of the past 2 summers going places together.

5. I loathe bearing the burden of the family budget/bills, etc. I actually enjoy doing it, but because we deal in mostly cash & some debit, it can be a pain in the ass moving money around.


Gratitudes:
1. I am thankful that even though hubby still doesn't receive a full paycheck, it is more than unemployment paid last year and that we have some money to move around.

2. By and large, I do have meds that are mostly effective

3. As janky or quirky as they may be, for now we have two working vehicles.

4. I am a resourceful person and that goes a long way with our limited resources. I'm also (hopefully) teaching our kids to be wise & resourceful.

5. Getting some 1 on 1 time with Son2. Up for today at his request; a sewing lesson.

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